Friday, December 28, 2012

Being postivie

I've always been a positive thinker. My glass is always half full... always. It's sometimes hard to see the positive in an icky situation, but if you look hard enough it's there.
Our life has been turned upside down so many times that I'm not really sure which way is up, sounds so corny, but its so true. I've always managed to find the bright side of our situations, by stepping back and trying to look at the big picture, by trying to find a lesson in all of the crud, or by simply having one of my besties tell me to Let go and Let God. The past month has been kind of an icky month. I say this not to try to get sympathy, but because I want to be honest. Obviously December is a hard month for our family because Logan's Angelversary is on the 2nd so everything already has a bit of a gloom around it. But this year I really felt that Christmas spirit come back to me, which was an absolute blessing and helped me through. But then two weeks ago the mister got fired from his job. Totally blindsided him and us. We were just getting used to having two steady incomes, we were a little too frivolous with our money, didn't save as much as we should have and its honestly freaking me out a little. BUT being positive goes a LONG way! The bright side to this situation? My husband has got to spend some great time with Lexi. Some great daddy daughter time. He's getting to finish some projects around the house. He, himself is looking into being more positive, realizing that he is more negative than he'd like to be. Will all these positives help us pay our bills when our reserves run out, no. Will all these positives make our world a brighter place to be, a sanctuary from all the ick that can surround us, YES.
I know that being positive can be hard when you have nothing but negative surrounding you. It's easy to get sucked into the sad face abyss. It's hard to get out of that abyss. But I've always believed that a smile can start you on your road to being positive. Laughter can take you a step closer to climbing out of that hole. Is it going to magically make everything instantly better, probably not, but what have you got to lose? That frown (oh darn). That pessimistic outlook that everything will go wrong (shutter at that thought). They say it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile... I've found the same thing is true with being negative and angry, it takes way more energy to stay negative and angry than it does to simply be happy.

It's your decision... choose positive.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

my dad... part II

Here is the video of my daddy and my little girl... MEMORIES!

Please slow down and appreciate those in your world.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

My Dad

I saw a poster that said "The only thing better about you being my Dad is that you are my children's Papa."
Isnt' that the truth? I've said before how incredibly awesome my family is. I know that the heart of our family, the way we are the way we are is because of the love my parents instilled in all of us. It wasn't taught that this is how you love, this is how you show pride in yourself, this is how you help others, it was shown, it was intentional, it was lived every single day, in front of us.
My dad has never been shy about how much he loves his family, his wife, his children, his grandchildren and even those that aren't imediate family, he loves them, out loud. I've never been afraid that my dad doesn't love me. Its a great thing to be able to see a man do this and teach it, without even trying. It takes a strong man to be an openly loving man, especially in the days where it wasn't cool to be. The day that we found out that we lost Logan, Mom and Dad were up to our house within hours. I remember sitting on the floor in the living room, in front of the pellet stove, just staring at the flames, Dad, sitting in a chair next to me, also mesmerized by the flames, tears filling his eyes. He said to me that he didn't understand it all; why it had to happen, what happened... his heart was breaking, no I take that back, his heart was broke. Then he said something to me that I will never ever in a million years forget, 'You know babe, I would take his place in a heartbeat if it meant he could live.'
Wow, those words, so real, so heartbreaking, and I knew that he meant it. The love of a father said in a sentence. I told him to not even say something like that because I need him here with me. Nothing else was said, we went back to staring at the fire, but those words left such a huge impression on my heart, on my world!
Fastforward two years....
So, this year, my parents are celebrating Christmas at our house. It's not a large house, but it's filled with love. It's also filled with a three year old little tornado. She's such a whirlwind of fun and attitude and frustration and smiles. She likes to pretend that she's a princess, she has the dresses, the shoes, the jewelry. We had Christmas music playing in the kitchen and she comes in decked out like a royal princess should be and asked if I wanted to dance. My Dad stands up and tells Lexi that he would love to dance with her. I recorded this on my phone (and if I can figure out how to get it uploaded here you all would get to see it too). I've watched it at least ten times since it happened. Memories are being made. The smile of my dads face is seriously priceless. That is the face of a man who loves his family, openly, honestly and without limits.

Thanks for loving us so great Dad!

Saturday, December 22, 2012


It's that time of year again!! I had always loved this time of year. The smells of Christmas, the music, the overall feeling of happiness. Well when we lost Logan I lost the spirit of Christmas.  I can honestly say that this year I'm feeling back to my original Christmassy self! I'm more sentimental than I was before but I'm feeling blessed that I have a wonderful family to share this holiday with... even an angel looking over us.
Merry Christmas my dear friends!