My second Mother’s Day was such a bittersweet day… Don’t get me wrong. The day was great! I got to spend it with my Mom, Dad, my loving Husand and my beautiful daughter.. I got to ‘see’ my siblings online, but I couldn’t help but remember that someone was missing. I kept thinking about how different my life would be if Logan had made it all the way to February 21st. If he hadn’t died…. that feels so weird to type, so harsh and so cold it seems, but there really isn’t any better way to put it. Short and simple, our Logan died. He died before he got to take his first breath. He died before I got to hear him cry. He died before I could soothe him in the middle of the night, all the while cursing that I was so tired.. He died.
I keep reading other people’s blog that have had stillborn children and it really is a completely different language. One that I had no idea about before December 2nd. They all seem to have the same thoughts.. the what ifs.. I wonder if I will every get out of the what ifs…. I have a feeling that they will always be there…
I’ll leave you with some wonderful pictures that warm my heart. Lexi bug playing in a fountain at mom’s house… she looks so happy, so carefree… I love her to pieces!