It’s 11:09 pm on November 12, 2012. You are sound asleep in your bed, snuggled up with two books, Winnie the Pooh and a book about lady bugs, with two pillows on your bed, neither of which have a pillow case (because like your Daddy, you hate pillow cases) you’ve got snowmen and Christmas tree flannel sheets on your bed with a red throw over the top of you. Your fan is turned on low (or low low low like you say it) your fishie tank light is on, despite me turning it off before I said goodnight to you for the last time, your new pink Christmas tree is plugged in as well so your room looks like it’s the middle of some spectacularly colorful day.
I was getting ready to go to sleep when on my way into my room I glanced over to make sure you were covered up and to make sure your neck wasn’t in too awkward of a position and then I was struck with the absolutely wonderful thought… You are mine! I get to snuggle you every single day, even on days that you drive me nuts, you also melt my heart with huggies and kissys before you go to sleep. With the ‘g’night, love you, see you morrow’ that I always here in return as I’ve said the same thing to you on my way out your door. You are absolutely beautiful. You have such a caring and sweet soul about you. You stick up for those that you love, even if it is when mommy and daddy are playing around, or we get onto the dog about something… you understand unconditional love, you understand that family is the most important. You have made me strive to be a better person, to love better, to stop and truly listen with my heart instead of my head. Because of your beautiful soul I have found how I want to be when I grow up.
You have this amazing thing about you that you can make us laugh, even when we are crazy mad with you… most recently you’ve started doing this thing with your eyebrows…. Looking all serious with your brows furrowed and then break into this smile with your eyebrows way up… then you try to go back and forth really really fast, you always crack yourself up… and of course we can’t help but laugh too. You have a mouth on you girl… You are learning it from us, which means we may want to start a swear jar!!! You’ve been saying dammit recently, not really loud, under your breath, very discreet.. at first I didn’t know what you were saying until I stopped and paid attention.. You were playing a game and tapping on it and I don’t know if you hit the wrong thing, but all of a sudden you go ‘ugh, dammit’ slightly above a whisper. It totally caught me off guard, but I couldn’t help but laugh, so now you think it’s funny (which it is, but I’ve got to be the grown up, right?!!?) And then tonight on the way home you said I looked pretty, for no reason, but to just say it. You say bless you every time you hear someone sneeze… and you have such an attitude… ‘I just don’t care’ is another one of your favorite expressions right now (hoping that this passes very very soon!!.
Anyway baby girl. I wanted to take some time and focus in on you, how much I love your wide green eyes (daddy thinks they are more like his, but I think they are all your own) you’ve got this amazing infectious smile and this belly laugh that brings a smile to everyone’s face. And even right this moment, as you are snuggled in your bed you make my heart swell with love, and with appreciation. I thank God every single day that he chose me to be your mom.
I love you buggie!