Tuesday, January 29, 2013


I've been blessed. Really. My entire life, I've never had a shortage of blessings. Even in the deepest toughest experiences there have been blessings.

One of the blessings that I've recently had is forgiveness and understanding.

And forgiveness and understanding from family is the best.

One of the relationships that really went south a couple years ago was with Mr. Clear's family. The relationship with his family was never what I would call close, but it was still a relationship, tested and cracked, but still there. We pulled away for many reasons, but most of which was our pride and our feelings, when we didn't have words to express our hurt. It has always been hard for me to not have family around. My family is all gone from Kansas (besides my friends who are like my family). And I've always ALWAYS been a person who believed that family is important.

Last summer Johnny's sister popped by the house, totally unexpected, but I'm completely thankful that she did. Since then we've texted back and forth, kept in contact a little, very nonshalantly.
Remember my post about being intentional? I've really decided to take that to heart. So I've sought out opportunities to spend more time with my sister in law and her family. I've been intentional by asking for forgiveness for our shortcomings. I've asked to be more involved. I've become more honest with them than I ever was, about my feelings, about our family, about our loss, about our hurt. Every time I've opened up, I've been received with open arms. It has really done my heart some good to know that I've set to clearing the path that we've made a mess. I know that there is much work to be done, but its a start.

The mister has a brother too. He's in the Navy. We haven't seen him since before Lexi was born. He had never met her, until this past weekend. I walked into my SIL house and he was there to great me, again, with open arms. A big hug. I literally had to hold back tears. I didn't get to ask for forgiveness, but I felt it was given. Lexi was being her shy little self and didn't really pay much attention to him, but He's still here for about a week, and I want to work on that! I want him to enjoy little miss the way she is, attitude and all!

The thing about forgiveness is that most times, its given without asking for it. There comes this time when the world gets awkward. You want to make things better, but you don't know the words to say... sometimes there are no words to say. I've been blessed with forgiveness by being open and honest. I've been blessed with forgiveness by doing nothing but hugging. Its amazing how matters of the heart can be so simple, if you only stop holding on to the fear.

What have you been fearing? What do you want to ask forgiveness for? What's stopping you?

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