Shiny Spirit

I was told yesterday that my spirit shines bright. I really really hope it does. I've always wanted to be a person who helped others to see the positive in things, to be the shower of the silver linings, to lift others up so their spirits could shine as bright as the sun.


I strive every day to be a positive person. Let me tell you, the past month has been HARD. Like as hard as it was when we lost Logan. Feeling lost as a person, not knowing what direction I should head or how to smile, but you know what... I did it. I had friends and family who helped me, guided me, allowed me to be who I was - even when it wasn't such a great version of myself.


I won't lie and say that having a sunny, positive disposition is easy, it isn't always easy, but its a choice. A choice that you can make every single morning when you wake up, every single time you encounter an obstacle, every step you take - you can either take it grumbling about needing new shoes, or you can be thankful that you have shoes to walk in...


My challenge to you today friends, choose to be happy, choose to find the joy in the everyday, choose to see that silver lining - no one can make that choice for you, It's all up to you.


Love -
Heather

Mama Bird

I see you Mama bird, taking care of your chicks. The moment you land in front of the bird house there is all sorts of squaking at you, I’m sure those squaks are all saying “I’m hungry, Feed me”. You dutifully give up the worm you just spent the last ten minutes trying to catch to make sure your chicks are well fed and happy. You fly off again, I’m assuming to catch something else to feed your babies, because that’s what us Mama’s do, we take care of those who need it.

I hear you Mama bird, tweeting, twittering and squaking at your babies - warning them of the danger that is outside. You are on a tree limb and a Blue Jay is in between you and your chicks, on top of the play set, mearly feet from the bird house that holds your precious babes. You alternate squaking at the bird house and the Blue Jay - obviously I don't know what you are saying, but it is urgent, frantic even and THAT I understand. The heartwrenching pain your mama heart gets when you have little to no control over what may happen with your littles. Feeling that the world is spinning at your feet and you alternate between praying that God will save them from harm and yelling/screaming at whoever might listen to help you.

Thankfully that Blue Jay flys away, babes untouched and safe as can be. You return to the bird house, its quiet as you approach, your chicks heard you "be quiet, there is danger" - but with one little tweet from you the bird house explodes with loud tweets and twitters and squaks, your littles are glad you are there, that same sound that just 30 minutes ago reminded you that this Mama task was hard and demanding has just reminded you that this Mama task is oh so worth it.

Its been a struggle these past few weeks with bigger than life attitudes, talking back, time outs and having earlier bed times..Thank you mama bird for reminding me that no matter how stressful this Mama task can be, that it is worth it. Reminding me that those  squaks, tweets, and chirps are a gift from God - Totally makes it worth the long hours, going from here to there, always on constant alarm to make sure all is right in their world.

Rest easy Mama bird, you've got this!

Thankful

Its getting closer. The time of year where my heart aches a bit more. Where the wounds that have scabbed over start to seep a little as if the skin around them have been pulled apart. Every year when Thanksgiving comes around I'm reminded of four years ago, I was pregnant with Logan and life seemed to be on the track that I thought it should be on. We all know that in fact my life was ready to take a steep dive into a roller coaster of ups and downs and great heartache. I'd be lying if I said that I don't get a bit sad and bitter around this time of year. And I'd also be lying if I said that over the past four years that the sadness and bitter feelings that I have are the same inensity that they were at years one, two or even three. My heart is joyful with the blessing that I have. I enjoy my days with many more laughs and smiles - I don't let the sadness or bitterness stop me from living a full life of happiness. One thing that I can say with absolute certainty is that I've grown over these past four years. I've grown to be more understanding. I've allowed myself to open up much more than I even was before. I've allowed myself to fail, and fail in front of many people. I've shown more weakness than I would have ever allowed myself to show, I've learned to extend myself grace. I've also learned to shelter myself from things or people that may hurt me. My heart is more tender, brokenness has done that. I've learned that it is okay to say no, even to those that are most important in your life. This week of Thanksgiving I am going to focus on my joys. Focus on the things that make me happy. I'm also going to focus on the blessings that may have hurt in the beginning but have lead me to this new normal of understanding, tender heartedness and grace. I'm thankful for where I am in this journey of life. I'm thankful for those who have walked with me through this change. I'm thankful for the ability to see the blessings in this mess. Happy Thanksgiving world - make it a great one!