Why is it so hard to communicate? Why does it take so much effort to clearly say the words you want to say? Especially to the ones that are closest to you?
Johnny and I have had some real eye opening experiences, not just recently, but really our entire life together as a couple. We learned early that we have to stick together in hard times, but that in itself is tough. When we lost Logan, right when it was happening, we were really good about talking to each other, about nothing and everything, our beliefs, where we thought this situation put us on our road of life, but that communication has wavered. I don't think that we are really all that different from most married couples. I honestly believe that everyone has periods in their life that they just can't put the correct words together and get them out of their mouths. Or you think the correct words are coming out of your mouth and it goes terribly wrong, you hurt each others feelings and feel even more flabbergasted than you did before.
I read a book once (don't remember the name of it) but it reminded us that men and women are completely different. Men look at life through blue shaded glasses and hear life through their blue shaded hearing aids, while women have pink glasses and hearing aids and since the opposite sexes are constantly seeing and hearing things differently the messages being sent are constantly being encoded and decoded wrong. That was a huge eye opener for me.
Although it is next to impossible to know how someone may take something you say, you have to have faith that you have encoded it with enough of the other color that it is taken right. You have to have faith that God will show you the words to say and have faith that God will show the other person how to read the signals you've sent.
Johnny and I do not have a perfect marriage, at all, but I do think that we are working on one of the most important parts of a marriage, how to communicate. It's a hard road and yes, feelings have been hurt. But in the end, we'll be able to look back and be thankful that we took to this road. Not just for our marriage, but for Lexi and our future children.
The take away from today's post... remember that everyone deciphers things differently. Be mindful of what you say, be mindful of how you say. Be respectful of each other and know that communication is hard and if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.