Friday, March 22, 2013

saying goodbye

I know we've all heard the statement that saying goodbye is never easy. It's true. Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things we as humans do. it doesn't have to be about how long we are saying goodbye for, it could be for a day, a week, a month or forever. it doesn't have to be about who we are saying goodbye to, a friend, a sibling, a spouse, a parent, a child. it's the fact that we know that it could be the last time. Those words Good Bye. They are so.... final.

My aunt is in the hospital and not expected to make it. I'll be honest in the fact that I have never been super close to this side of the family, but in my book, family is family, no matter how many times we talk in a year, you are still loved. it still hurts to know that today, in the hospital there is family gathering to say their final goodbyes. Heartbreaking. To know that their end on this earth is coming and we can't do anything about it.

I've read that to pine for Heaven is a good thing. To say that you can't wait to get to Heaven shows how much you love, understand and trust God. I honestly have such a hard time with this. Sure, I know that Heaven will be free from pain and injustice, but selfishly I want those that I love to be here, with me. So I can know that they are okay, or if they aren't okay, I can try to help them be okay. It's a battle I guess; of what I'm not so sure, but it's a battle. Maybe my own mortality? Maybe the fear that everyone I love will eventually leave me and I'll be alone?

So, to my family... I love you. I'm sorry that your heart is hurting. I'm sorry that your goodbye is going to be full of tears and fear and pain. I'm sorry that I can't ease that pain. I do know, however, that she will be going to a better place. She will no longer be in pain. She will be greeted on the other side by those that left before her. She will be waiting on the other side when you make that journey when it is your time.

I'd like to send out a challenge in the universe, to this world wide web of ours... When saying goodbye; don't forget to say I love you, don't forget to squeeze a little tighter when you are giving goodbye hugs and always always always watch them as they leave, wave until you can't see them anymore and say a little prayer that they journey is a safe one.

I hope your weekend is filled with love.

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